Marriage: What I've Learned

     When I was in Colorado, a friend of mine had asked me a question. She said, "What do you think you've learned most in marriage?" I told her it was definitely a hard question for sure, and that I'd have to think about it.
     I think for the most part, it's doing exactly what the Bible says to do or not to do. Love keeps no record of wrongs. (1st Corinthians 13:5) I think when you go into marriage, and live every day life, you have to remember that you live with a sinner. You also have to remember that you're a sinner yourself. You both have faults, and you both sin constantly. No one is perfect. You shouldn't go into marriage assuming that they're going to be perfect in areas that you think they'd be. Yes, they may be great in those areas, but don't set an expectation that they or you can't meet.
     For me, I tend to set the expectation for myself too high. I want to make dinner the best for my husband. I want the house to be clean when my husband comes home, all the time. I want my life together, and I want to know what I want. However, because I'm a sinner, I fall short of those expectations for myself, every single day. I'm proud of myself if I can even get my husband's egg yolks to not crack while I cook them. ;)
     I'm not perfect. I struggle every day with being a wife, and soon-to-be mom. I have thoughts that are sinful, I do things I know I shouldn't do. I have temptations and struggles just like everybody else. I'm not pretending that I have it all together. Marriage does take work. It takes work to serve other people above yourself. It takes work to remember that the other person might be right, and that whether they're right or not, "Love does not insist on it's own way." (1st Corinthians 13:5)
     When Josh and I had premarital counseling, we promised each other, and wrote it down, not to leave the house when we're still upset with each other, or need to talk things out. We've been late for things a couple times, because things had to be worked through.
    So, yes, marriage does take work, but I wouldn't have it any other way! I'd rather work through things with Josh, then to work alone by myself.
     My parents, and so many others have been a wonderful example to me of what a good, Godly marriage looks like, and I'm so grateful that I have a husband who's a wonderful man, and who'll be a great dad soon!
     I think this woman said it best in her post: http://www.girldefined.com/my-selfishness-marriage-ruined-satisfaction

• I would now consider myself a happily married woman. Will marriage be smooth sailing in the future? Most definitely not. However, I have learned where my hope and trust needs to be. I know that my Heavenly Father will give me His truth, through His word.
• I will have to make the choice to step out in faith and remember that His way is perfect and His way will ultimately bring me amazing satisfaction.

I absolutely loved this article, so I thought I'd share it! http://joyforney.org/married-woman/

• In what Ways do you feel like you can be less-selfish every day?
• How can you prepare for marriage in the future, or if you're married, how can you make your marriage better?

Learning to be Humble

     This past week, I've had to learn a lot about sacrificial love, and about being humble. On Tuesday, I was feeling weak with a Cold that I had been trying to get over. I couldn't do much around the house without me having to take a break to catch my breath. I couldn't bear it, because I felt like I was letting my husband down for not keeping up with the house, and more importantly, God... because I wanted to serve my husband, but couldn't in the way I wanted to.

     Josh has taken very good care of me, especially when I'm sick. When we sat down on the couch, and I needed more water, he was up before I could stop him with my cup in hand, getting me water. 

Yesterday, I woke up, and my stomach had this odd, queasy-empty stomach feel to it. After 4 years of no stomach bug, I had gotten it somehow. I guess I was way past due. 

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      Josh drove to the Family Dollar down the street from us to get me some things, and later that night, he was a total servant! I didn't even ask him to things, he just did it knowing that it'd help me. I was on the couch all day yesterday either falling asleep, or watching a movie. When Josh came home in the evening, he made me a Grilled Cheese Egg Sandwich, and sat next to me. Later that evening while I was resting on the couch, he went to our church to help the men with some building projects. He's great like that. 

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     It was very humbling for me to see that I don't have to do it all. God gave Josh to me. We work as team. It was even more humbling for me to actually LET Josh do things, as opposed to me telling him that he doesn't have to. Today, I feel so much better! Today, I'm thankful for the man that Gods blessed me with! I'm truly humbled to have such a Godly man like Josh! I love you dear husband of mine!... more and more every day!!! 

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1 Peter 5:6

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you..."

Philippians 2:3-11

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. ..."

James 4:6

But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Matthew 23:12

Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."

2 Chronicles 7:14

If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land."

2 Corinthians 11:30

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness."

Learning To Walk

     Today, I took my little 6 year old brother to his PE+Plus class. As I was reading a book, I noticed that he came down the hill, looking very upset. When I found out why he was so upset, he said, "Everyone's playing basketball, but I can't... it's too hard!" I asked him if he even tried it, and he said he did, but that he gives up. I then proceeded to tell him that when he first learned to walk, that he fell down constantly, but that he didn't give up, that he tried, and kept trying. He kept on moving, and trying to walk, until he succeeded.
     How often have you tried to move forward in your own feeble power and ended up in a heap on the floor? You think you can do it, and God allows you to try. Proving to yourself and everybody around that you're simply not up to the task, you give up or give in. And just then, He reaches down with those loving hands and lifts you up to walk you through the barriers of your life- in His limitless strength.
     That's the promise. He gave it to you and to me, and He stand behind His word. He stands behind you too. He may allow you to fall, but He'll never allow you to be defeated. That's the idea to set securely into your heart. Don't let life's commotion shake it away from you, because it carries hope. Whatever you may be facing today, don't give up or give in. Wait for those marvelous, loving hands to cover our own- be ready to laugh with delight as He walks you, in His power, to places you never thought you could reach.
     What are some ways that you felt like God was teaching you to Walk?

Philippians 4:12-13

"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

Psalm 31:24

"Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!"

Romans 12:12

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

1 Corinthians 13:7

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Galatians 6:9

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

Mother's Need Help! - Guest Post

Today we have a guest post from Ashley. Before I post what she wrote, I would encourage you all to think about it as you read it. I myself, am a mother's helper, and it has been such a joy to see the way it bless's the children as well as the moms and dads. So, without further ado, here is Ashley's post. :)

Mother's Need Help!

You've seen it before. A mom in the grocery store with four toddlers. Most of the time she doesn't get very many groceries. 

Why? Most mom's with small children don't like to go shopping with their little ones. Mom's need help. It's just a plain fact.

Last year I started to be a mother's helper. You know, someone who spends the day with a family and just helps however she can. Doing laundry. Watching the kids. Making lunch. These are some of the things I did. And lots of the time it wasn't easy.

Being a mother's helper also allowed me to develop good relationships with mom's that I wouldn't have if I hadn't first been their mother's helper. Be prepared to have good conversations. I'm not very outgoing around adults but once I got to know these ladies I was a lot more comfortable around them and I was also more open to talking and sharing. This put me in a great position to receive biblical mentoring which is what the Bible talks about in Titus 2:

"That they (the aged women) may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus 2: 4-5

Being a mother's helper is a great way to watch older women (well, older than us) in the home. It gives us as young ladies a good example to follow.

 I have to say, there are a lot of things you can learn from being a mother's helper. Here's just a few:

1. You get to see how other families run their household.

2. You get to interact with younger kids who aren't your siblings.

3. You get to learn to serve in another household.

4. You learn how to ask questions.

And that's not including how much you will bless the mom you help! So let's look at these close up.

You get to see how other families run their household.

How do they fold their clothes? What cleaning products do they use? When do they normally eat lunch? All of these questions will be answered when you step into their home and start to get your hands dirty.

You get to interact with young kids.

We tend to be a little short with our siblings, you know? But when we're with other kids who aren't our siblings we tend to have a lot more grace. Young children look up to older friends so it would mean the world to them if you just took a minute to spend some time with them.

"And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them." Matthew 18: 2

You learn to serve.

In my house I may just do something that needs to be done, but in someone else's house I'll be more reluctant. Most mother's aren't going to give you a list at the front door to tell you everything you could do. Some mom's will ask you while others will just expect you to play with the kids, but part of blessing mom's is doing the things they won't have time for in their busy schedule or maybe even giving them time to run an errand by themselves or take a nap.

"For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many." Mark 10: 39

You Learn to ask Questions

This is a big one. I'm a very shy girl and sometimes I'll hesitate to ask about something. But, again, part of blessing someone else is doing the job right so they don't have to do it over later. So ask questions. Mom's won't get offended by simple questions.

You probably know a young mother with a couple toddlers that could use some help. Offer to spend the day (free of charge) just helping her with whatever she needs. It might not be easy but it's worth it.