Burned and burned again

     Yesterday, I took James to the ER. After Doctors examining him, and giving his leg an X-ray, they found that his Femur was fractured. Yesterday, my husband took a tumble with our baby down our very steep set of stairs, and they fell a couple steps. It was enough for both of them to get hurt. So now James has a cast on his leg for the next month at least. It's funny. I feel like every time we leave the hospital, or get through something, God decides to bring something else into our life to give us a time to practice faith, patience, and perseverance.
     In between going to the hospital several times during James babyhood, and just challenging times with our little boy, I feel like I've been burned. I'm burned out quite honestly. I'm tired of getting burned. I'm tired of feeling tired. Every time I think to myself, "This is it! After we get through this, it'll be fine." Quite honestly, it is... just not the way I had pictured. It's funny how different our plans are from Gods, aren't they?!
     Every battle that we finally win with James, is a step closer to being who God wants us as his parents to be. But every battle that comes, there's another one to follow. On top of having my son in the ER yet again, we're trying to purchase a house, plus I'm pregnant, and there's constantly things happening throughout our week that make things challenging through one thing or another.
     I read this article today- Walk Slowly, Mama, and couldn't help but cry. Cry because this is where I am in life... that and I'm pregnant, so things are a lot more emotional for me. ;) The things we do for our children on a daily basis helps to grow us in many ways. We all get burned in one way or another. We get burned by yet another child sick and you've already had 4 days of restless sleep. We get burned because someone let you down. We get burned because we're tired of doing the same thing over and over again. It's funny though. When I think I can't go on any longer, God brings me the encouragement and will to fight. Today, it was my sister-in-law lending me her car to go to Starbucks while James slept. Some days, it's my husband sending me a sweet text telling me that I'm doing great as a mom, and that he's proud of me, and some days, it's reading a part of the Word of God that you just needed to hear. Whatever it may be, God brings you the energy you need to continue to fight the good fight.
     "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." ~2nd Timothy 4:7~

It's Been A While...

     It's been a while since I posted anything on blogs. Truth is, it's been a good break. I needed it. Figuring out how to be a mom, and to still keep up with everything else has had its challenging moments. So, what's the update? Our little baby boy is 3 1/2 months old now! James has been smiling since he was 6 weeks old! He loves to be outside, just sitting on our porch sitting with me on our swing. He can roll over from his back to his side now, and he loves to chew on things... whether that be fingers, blankets, arms. ;) James LOVES being held! He also gets upset when you leave him in a room by himself for too long.
     Being a mom is amazing, and rewarding, and also challenging at times. At this moment, I'm typing with one hand, and holding my little boy on my lap with the other. ;) I've been slowly writing a post on my blog. I usually get as far as writing a paragraph when something comes up, and my duty as a mom needs attention. So, this posts I've been writing for a couple weeks, little by little, and updating as needed.
     James started to laugh for the first time this last week. And oh, it filled my heart! My husband and I were reminiscing last week about how far we've come. How we met, courted, got engaged, married, and now have a baby! A baby who used to sleep and cry all the time, and now he smiles, he's found his thumb, is laughing, and loves brightly colored things. James loves to be outside, so whenever he's fussy and he just woke up, I just take him out there for a bit.
     So, that's the update that I have. Life with our little guy is full. Being a momma full time is challenging, and wonderful at the same time. I've been learning all sorts of new things about our little boy.  During the challenging moments, my husband is so patient with me, and is always encouraging me and reminding me of Gods blessings that He's given to us, and how every day is a gift that we need to thank Him for.

He's going to be a thumb sucker. ;)

He loves to stick out his tongue now!

Those Cheeks!!!

Not sure what this face was for... I think he was blowing bubbles...

He loves tummy time now! :)

What have ya'll been up to this summer? I'd love to hear about it! Leave a comment below...

A Letter to my Son

     Over the last couple years, I've seen a couple people write a letter to their son/daughter. I wrote this a couple weeks ago, but adjusted it accordingly. I thought I'd share it with ya'll.

A Letter to my Son:

     James, you're only 7 weeks old, and somehow the time is already passing by so quickly. From the moment your daddy and I found out we were going to have a baby, we had already fallen in love with you. With every passing day that my belly got bigger, our dreams were coming true.

     You didn’t know it at the time, but I had prayed for you since I was a young adult. I prayed that when that someday came for me to get married and have children, that God would give me the strength to endure the path that He had for me. 

     The days of pregnancy went by fast for me. I had quite the scare in my first trimester when I thought I had lost you. However, God saw fit to bless us with such a beautiful and handsome son. 

  
   
     As my pregnancy with you came to an end, I began to feel excited and nervous. Excited that I was going to be holding you in my arms soon, but nervous with how I was going to be as a mother. Your dad was confident that I was going to be great, but I couldn’t see how someone so little could play a huge part in my role as a mother. 

     As the days pass, and you get a tiny bit bigger, I wonder, even now how I’ll be as a mother. I know that I’ll get upset and frustrated with you at times, but I pray that you’ll be patient with me as I’m learning to be a momma for the very first time. 

     We've had bad day, and good days, and days that were so rough on me, that I was in tears because of the lack of sleep, but you helped me grow into mommy-hood. I"m very thankful to be married to your daddy, who, during those times was so patient with me, and still continues to be.
     Last week, you started smiling for the very first time when daddy and I would talk to you. Every morning, we long to get that sweet smile, and every morning, you melt our hearts with your smile. We are in love with you!
     James, as daddy and I train you up in the admonition of the Lord, may you seek Gods wisdom always. Remember to "Only fear the Lord, and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you." ~1st Samuel 12:24. Give God glory for everything in your life, and praise Him through all the trials that will come your way.
     Your daddy and I love you very much and we're blessed and honored to be your parents! We're looking forward to watching you grow. We love you James Randal Narwold!!! <3

James Birth Story

     Tuesday, May 31st. It started out like any other “normal” day (as normal as it gets for a pregnant mama!). Because of my high blood pressure the last couple weeks, I had been told to take it easy and was basically on bed rest.

     On this particular night - a Tuesday, our official “date night” since the start of our marriage - Josh and I decided to see a movie at the local theater. We knew that once baby James had arrived, trips to the theater would be rare for a little while.       I had a bit of cramping during the movie but didn’t pay much attention to it. On the way home, the cramps began to come more often; every 10 minutes or so.

     Around 12:45 we decided to head for bed. No sooner had we turned off the light and snuggled up in bed than my cramps worsened to the point that I couldn’t sleep.

     It was about 1:00 in the morning when I told Josh, “I wonder if I’m in labor.” I texted my midwife Hannah and asked her if the pain I was experiencing was normal. She assured me that it was, told me that it was likely I’d be having the baby within the next 24-48 hours, and encouraged me to get some sleep.

     By 1:15, the contractions were so close together - about 5 minutes apart - that I couldn’t get any rest. By 1:30 they were about 4 minutes a part, and we called Hannah. Josh finished setting up the birth pool, as this was to be a water birth.

     Hannah arrived at our house around 2:15 to find my poor husband attempting to fill the birth pool with hot water without using the hose we had bought for the purpose (the adapter we now realized was necessary to connect the hose to the faucet had sadly gone unpurchased). Boiling water on the stove was not going to cut it given how close together my contractions were becoming, and Hannah decided it was more important to have enough water in the pool than to have perfect-temperature water. Thus began the bucket brigade from bathroom sink to poolside.

     When Hannah checked around 2:45 AM, I was 7 cm dilated. Kathy (our other midwife) and Cortnie (“the intern”) showed up around 3:00-3:15. At this point my contractions were every 2-3 minutes apart.

     I had been on my hands and knees for most of the duration of the labor. Josh had tried to get me into a more comfortable position or at least on the bed, but for some reason the floor felt most comfortable. All I wanted was for the pain to be over. I held Josh’s hand and squeezed it every time I had a contraction.

     Kathy and Hannah told me that I could get into the birth pool if I wanted to, and I did. The water felt really nice, but my contractions started to slow down almost immediately; so back out of the pool I went!

     Over the next few hours I took a shower, got back down on my hands and knees, then switched to the birth pool for a bit before repeating the process.

     I’m not sure exactly when I was fully dilated, but they told me afterwards that I had pushed for an hour and a half. We tried a few different locations and positions for the pushing, and we could see the top of James’s head before I’d returned to the pool. In fact, we almost finished labor without using the pool! It was my offhand comment “So much for a water birth!” that prompted Kathy to suggest I slip back in.

     Josh ventured into the birthing pool with me, and I leaned on him, squeezing the folds of his shirt with every contraction.

     Little baby James was born at 10:45 a.m. And I do mean little; he was just an ounce over 6 pounds! At 20 3/4", though, we think he’ll be tall like Daddy. The midwives pushed some air down into his lungs to help him breathe by himself since he had so much fluid.

     My mom flew out from Colorado later that day, and my dad followed 24 hours after. Josh took the week off and was able to work from home the second week.

     Adjusting to mommy-hood has been a challenge, but it’s been great. Having my parents here to help for the first few days made quite a difference. I’m still struggling with nursing, but we’re getting there little by little; and the sleep deprivation, though hard at first, has grown easier to manage.

     James is just about 4 weeks old now; and while we face fresh challenges daily as new parents, by God’s grace we’re getting through them.

     I’m thankful for Josh, a fantastic husband and now father who has been very patient with me while I learn how to be a mom and meet the needs of our 4-week-old.

     Our little guy brings us so much joy, and we wouldn’t trade him for the world. <3

Life As A New Mom

     It's been a little over 2 weeks now since I've had my baby. Life has been full of all kinds of new things. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a very selfish person. Having a baby is full of all kinds of joys, but also many challenges.
     From trying to figure out how to nurse, and being sleep deprived, makes mommy-hood all the more interesting.
      James is a wonderful blessing and addition to our family, but it's also been a little tough to adjust to having a baby.
     What once was nights with my hubby, sitting and watching a movie, playing games, evening walks, or having friends over, is now, time spent trying to feed the baby, or put the baby to sleep. Nights with just my husband and I, are no longer. It's been an adjustment for both of us, but we wouldn't trade it for the world.

Josh having some father/son bonding moments.

                I told my husband, "I feel like I won't be able to tell you about my day anymore! It won't be exciting. It'll be, feeding the baby, putting the baby to sleep, and maybe some things in between." ;) It gave us both a good laugh.

     James weighs 6Ibs 9.9oz as of today, which means, he's been gaining an ounce a day for the past week and a half. 

He looks so peaceful when he sleeps.

This is James after he finished eating. ;) 

      James is 16 days old, as of today. Every day is full with new challenges/old challenges, and lots of patience to go with it ... Gods working on me with that one. ;)

     I pray that God will give me the patience to endure what lies ahead, and to give me a peace that passes all understanding. Little baby James is a tremendous Joy to our lives, and we couldn't be happier to have him in our little family. We love you James Randal Narwold!!! <3