Why You should keep Hoping for Marriage

Great post from Suzanne, please read!
Keeping hope alive as a single can feel like a struggle. But what if the struggle is the whole point? 

It wasn't her words that caught me off guard. It was the way in which she said them. Resigned cheerfulness. "Well, I'm glad I won't have children," she said lightly, taking a sip of coffee. "Too many things in the world to worry about. God knows I couldn't handle it."

My single friend's admission that she had already given up on having children — at age 31 — surprised me. As we talked more, I realized something: Sometimes it's easier to embrace an unwanted outcome than to keep hoping for God to fulfill long-held desires.

Around that same time, another single friend told me, "It hurts to keep hoping. Part of me just wants to give up on marriage and get on with making my life as good as possible without a husband." I think a lot of singles feel this way. What does it matter if I want to be married if that's never going to happen? I might as well quit torturing myself by hoping for it.

Hope Is Not Lost

I was 30 when I met my husband and 31 when I got married. In retrospect, that doesn't seem very old to marry. But at the time, it felt as if I had been waiting forever. Some of my friends are in their late 30s and 40s and still unmarried; I can only imagine the temptation to pack up shop and embrace "Plan B" — life without marriage.

Here's the thing: Giving up on a godly desire (when God hasn't obviously taken that desire from you) is a form of escapism. Rather than sitting in the pain of unfulfilled longings — continuing to hope that God will come through for you — you take the less painful route of "choosing" the alternative. It's a way of taking back control — a defense mechanism of sorts. And though that illusion of control (who are we kidding here) can be comforting, it shortcuts the joys of giving God complete control of your life.

We were created for hope. Scripture abounds with verses that entreat the believer to be filled with hope (Romans 15:13 is one example). It's the reason a multi-billion dollar advertising industry exists. What do commercials offer us? Hope. When we quit hoping for a God-given desire, we deny a piece of how God created us and rob Him of the opportunity to glorify himself by meeting our needs.

Psalm 37:4 has become a sort of anthem for singles. It says, "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." To me, this verse always felt a little like a spiritual performance test. Was I still single because I was not delighting in Him enough? But I don't think that's the point. The point is that a relationship with God in which I feel delight in Him leads to godly desires within me, the kind He wants to satisfy.

Voices of Hope

As I asked singles (and those who married after a period of extended singleness) about the benefits of keeping hope alive, answers ranged from, "It simply feels better" to "I don't want to have regrets later" to "It's attractive to others." A few responses stood out to me. Here are their stories:
Continue reading at: http://www.boundless.org/adulthood/2015/why-you-should-keep-hoping-for-marriage?