In my last post, I told the story of how Josh and I met. Going through a courtship, and seeing many courtships, my family and I have been able to see some things that work and don't work. Each family is going to be a little different, and is going to be a little more firmer or looser on their "rules". Honestly, we have biblical models to use as our guidelines, and that's what my parents and I used.
Before I met Josh, I had many days when I wondered when "Mr. Right" would come. I dreamed of the day that my "knight in shining armor" would sweep me off my feet, and whisk me away at my call. I had anticipated to be married by 19 or 20... but God had other plans for my life. I was asked sometime in early 2014, if I'm ready to be married. My answer: I'm ready now, but I'm not wasting my life just waiting. I'm doing things to keep me busy until that day I get married.
Many people were astonished that I still wanted to be married. In today's culture, waiting for the right one isn't very common... usually you date a couple people, and then, "maybe", after a couple years, you marry the person. Maybe, you decide to move onto the next person.
Many people were surprised at how quickly my courtship with Josh was. Some people think that you have to know the person for several years, before any arrangements can be made. Honestly, because Josh was out of state, we talked to each other all the time! By the time we were engaged, we talked more on the phone/FaceTime/and in person than what people would talk about in 8 months time as a couple! We still talk all the time! :-) The question is, why wait 4 or 5 years to get to know each other, when you can get to know each other in a years time?!
One thing I've noticed with many girls, and parents, is that they're expecting, "Mr. Perfect"... sorry to ruin it for you, but he doesn't exist! Everyone is a sinner, everyone has their faults. Going into the relationship knowing that the other person is a sinner, would be so helpful! I have a couple friends who's expectations are so high in what to expect in a guy, that it's practically impossible as a guy to step into any relationship. Don't get me wrong, having some sort of expectations is great! ... I had some myself! Mine were things like: Does he love God? Does he love his family? Would he put God above me? Is Christ the center of our relationship?
I didn't have things like: He has to make $______ of money, has to have his own house, has to be perfect, has to have self-control, has to... the list can go on. Going into a relationship knowing that the other person is going to have sin issues that maybe, yes, have to be worked through. But to expect this high expectation of Mr. Perfect, is impossible.
Honestly, because of all the stories I'd heard of my friends courtships, I wasn't expecting a good one. I was expecting more bad than good... and in all honestly, my courtship was the best that I could have ever imagined! It was a sweet time, and will continue to be a sweet time as I get to know Josh even more! And another thing... you'll continue to know your significant other even through marriage. My parents have been happily married for 25 years, and are still getting to know each other!
So, yes, I'v had my share of waiting, and honestly, I didn't think the moment would ever come, because I felt that me as a sinner, didn't deserve anyone! ... the truth is, no one deserves anything! We're all sinners, and we all make mistakes! We will all fall short of the glory of God! (Romans 3:23)
However, because of how good, loving, and sovereign of a God we serve, He gives us more than we deserve, including sacrificing his own son for us! You may have to still wait for a couple years to be married, or you may have your soon-to-be husband waiting around the corner, just waiting for you! Whatever it may be, wait patiently! Your patience on God, will be worth it in His timing!
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Psalm 27:14
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
Before I met Josh, I had many days when I wondered when "Mr. Right" would come. I dreamed of the day that my "knight in shining armor" would sweep me off my feet, and whisk me away at my call. I had anticipated to be married by 19 or 20... but God had other plans for my life. I was asked sometime in early 2014, if I'm ready to be married. My answer: I'm ready now, but I'm not wasting my life just waiting. I'm doing things to keep me busy until that day I get married.
Many people were astonished that I still wanted to be married. In today's culture, waiting for the right one isn't very common... usually you date a couple people, and then, "maybe", after a couple years, you marry the person. Maybe, you decide to move onto the next person.
Many people were surprised at how quickly my courtship with Josh was. Some people think that you have to know the person for several years, before any arrangements can be made. Honestly, because Josh was out of state, we talked to each other all the time! By the time we were engaged, we talked more on the phone/FaceTime/and in person than what people would talk about in 8 months time as a couple! We still talk all the time! :-) The question is, why wait 4 or 5 years to get to know each other, when you can get to know each other in a years time?!
One thing I've noticed with many girls, and parents, is that they're expecting, "Mr. Perfect"... sorry to ruin it for you, but he doesn't exist! Everyone is a sinner, everyone has their faults. Going into the relationship knowing that the other person is a sinner, would be so helpful! I have a couple friends who's expectations are so high in what to expect in a guy, that it's practically impossible as a guy to step into any relationship. Don't get me wrong, having some sort of expectations is great! ... I had some myself! Mine were things like: Does he love God? Does he love his family? Would he put God above me? Is Christ the center of our relationship?
I didn't have things like: He has to make $______ of money, has to have his own house, has to be perfect, has to have self-control, has to... the list can go on. Going into a relationship knowing that the other person is going to have sin issues that maybe, yes, have to be worked through. But to expect this high expectation of Mr. Perfect, is impossible.
Honestly, because of all the stories I'd heard of my friends courtships, I wasn't expecting a good one. I was expecting more bad than good... and in all honestly, my courtship was the best that I could have ever imagined! It was a sweet time, and will continue to be a sweet time as I get to know Josh even more! And another thing... you'll continue to know your significant other even through marriage. My parents have been happily married for 25 years, and are still getting to know each other!
So, yes, I'v had my share of waiting, and honestly, I didn't think the moment would ever come, because I felt that me as a sinner, didn't deserve anyone! ... the truth is, no one deserves anything! We're all sinners, and we all make mistakes! We will all fall short of the glory of God! (Romans 3:23)
However, because of how good, loving, and sovereign of a God we serve, He gives us more than we deserve, including sacrificing his own son for us! You may have to still wait for a couple years to be married, or you may have your soon-to-be husband waiting around the corner, just waiting for you! Whatever it may be, wait patiently! Your patience on God, will be worth it in His timing!
Psalm 27:13-14
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Psalm 27:14
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
Thank you for your encouragement Caitlin! Your every word rings true!
ReplyDeleteMany, many blessings!
Cassie
the Elder Sister & Writer
Thank you so much for writing this post! As a young Christian woman living in a pagan world, it can be very discouraging waiting for your prince...especially when frogs are plentiful and princes are few and far between! Thank you for sharing your inspiring story and your encouraging words with us...I hope you and your fiance have a long, blessed, happy life together!
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