Monday, May 12, 2014

We say,"When?" God says, "Wait."

My very good friend, Emily at:
wrote a great post about waiting on the Lord during our single years. I thought I'd share her post, and I added to it as well: 
You know that concept of keeping your heart that people talk about?  Well, that's what I am going to write on tonight.  Except, I have no expert opinions to offer, no personal experience, no funny stories, but just a bit of what God has been teaching me throughout my years of singleness.  

Every Christian is on a journey.  God does not promise the journey to be easy, to be pleasant all the time, to be hunky-dory, or to be a completely smooth ride, but He does promise to be with us, to be our refuge and our strength.  He promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us.  We know that even when we are abandoned by everyone He will and still will always be a faithful and amazing friend.   

However, when I was around 15, I had my first "crush."  A crush by definition is a silly infatuation with someone that is often founded on looks or the fact that you don't really know the person, and he "seems" like a nice guy.  Yep, I had a few of those.  And with my young, volatile teenage heart, I was unsure of how to handle them, these feelings, these desires that I knew were causing me to not love but to stumble both myself and my relationship with my brothers in Christ, causing me to desire something that was not mine, for my own satisfaction, not bothering to care about anybody's emotions but my own.  

I finally realized and was reminded that I could not handle this on my own.  There is a reason that as Christians we are to cling to a rock that is higher than our own instability, Jesus Christ, our foundation and our Savior.  I learned to cling harder and stronger to this rock and to leave more and more of my errant feelings behind.  

Now, it's not that feelings are a bad thing, but one can't let them direct their every decision, and I learned this slowly through age 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21… 

At the same time, God also impressed upon me the importance of the communication between a father and a daughter, for a father is the man God has given us as daughters to share our emotions with, our feelings, our dreams, and desires, before or if we are ushered into marriage.  It was definitely awkward the first time I squeaked out to my dad in the car that I was struggling with my heart and my own emotions and that I needed counsel and prayer, but it was also a freeing feeling knowing I could communicate these feelings I didn't quite understand to a man who loved me and cared for me.  

Over the years, my relationship with my father has deepened and grown through every up and down.  My father has been an example of our amazing Heavenly Father, and I am so grateful for every time he has lent a listening ear to me, even in my more irrational, emotional tirades.  

And I finally reached the age of 19.  This was an age I could get married.  I could have kids.  I could be a mom, but God didn't choose that for me, and so it was hard to actually comprehend that.  This desire was less of a far off-future thought, more of an imminent reality, but God said, "Wait."   

Wait.  That is one of the hardest words that I will ever hear or try to comprehend.  It is one of the most difficult words to obey.  

And so, I waited, but often, it was with a heart that was not in the waiting.  I started to dwell on marriage. The heart was elsewhere, wanting to be swept off by a Prince Charming, a man that would put all other men to shame.  (Haha, he doesn't exist.   I'm definitely not a Princess Charming, so why would I deserve a Prince Charming?)   I didn't so much think about desiring a man I could grow with, be sanctified with, and live life to serve God with, but I built unrealistic expectations and "requirements" that I knew no man could fill.   

God humbled me then.  He broke me down.  I was reminded that I do not and can not plan my future, but God does.  There would be times when I was confident, self-confident, about the person I was going to marry, the profession he was going to hold, and whether he would live in the country or the city.  You might laugh, but these are all true.

And God took each idol, each selfish expectation and has and is breaking them down one by one.    He is teaching me to say like Jesus did, "Not my will but thy will be done."

Since 21, I've gone through many valleys and mountains.  I've gone through periods of feeling as if I could go on forever being single because I am so happy and content, and then inevitably the longing strikes again, but by God's grace I am able to still prepare for that some day, while at the same time loving and being thankful for the home and the time God has placed me in to serve Him.

I pray that by His grace alone He might enable me to better love my brothers and sisters in Christ, serve them, volunteer to help at weddings, and rejoice in the tasks and the purpose which He has 
given me.  He truly tests our faith when He says the one simple word, "Wait."  

So I can't just tell you that part of the story, without leaving an encouragement for my many dear sisters in Christ that are still single, that are still waiting.  God has your future planned.  God knows whom you will marry and what you will do, and you don't have to worry.  God is in complete control.  He holds your life in the palm of His hands.  Be encouraged, you were put here on this earth for a reason, to serve an Almighty King and a Loving Father.  Your spells of loneliness and desires for a husband must drive you towards Jesus Christ seeking the ultimate comfort and friendship in Him.  

So don't give up.  Don't stop.  Wait on the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.  "Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.'
~Psalm 27:14~


  1. Enjoyed reading this post. I've nominated you for the Beautiful Blog Award over at my blog.

  2. Such a lovely post by your friend, thanks for sharing it, Caitlin. It really encouraged me to wait patiently for the one God has for me and to focus on where God has me right now.

    His Princess,

  3. Fantastic post. Thanks so much for sharing!



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