Preparing Single's for the Future

It was after church service last summer, and I found myself holding a precious little treasure in my arms. This treasure was about 6 months old and she owned a pair of blue eyes that I'm sure could steal anyone's heart. In my conversation with one of the moms, I mentioned just how much I desired to be a mother of my own precious little treasures one day.

She began to reply, and I was sure she was going to give me the "contentment speech." You know, "be happy and serve God where He has placed you and in His time He will bring along 'Mr. Right'." Thing is, I am truly happy with my life; I feel full. I only want the next phase when God says it's time. Overall, I am content. But she surprised me--she didn't discredit that desire, instead she encouraged me. She told me that those were God given desires and she truly believed He would fulfill them. It was neat to hear that. It was so different for that desire to be affirmed.

Like any girl, I've carried big dreams about my knight in shining armor. I've known some girls to write very extensive lists on what they want their husbands to be. Oh sure, it'd be nice if he could sing and play instruments well, if he were a good writer, spoke several languages, was romantic, and was really athletic--the list could go on and on. But what my heart has craved and my prayers have echoed is that he would be a passionate lover of God; that he would have a dynamic relationship with the Lord.

For if a man loves God--truly loves and follows after Him and has a humble and teachable spirit, then everything else will fall into place. No, he won't be perfect, he will fail just as much as I do. We won't be perfect, but we will grow and learn together. That's part of the beauty of it.

Occasionally I would put myself in the place of the kind of man I would like to marry and make a list of the kind of woman he would want to marry and then I work on those things. Do you desire a man of prayer? Become a woman of prayer. Do you desire a man that meditates on God's Word? Start meditating! What about a man that is involved in ministry? Become a woman that serves and ministers to those around, in her own neighborhood (I'm writing as a girl to girls, but it works the same way reversed).

We can daydream, we can wish about our Knight in Shining Armor. But would we be the kind of woman he is looking for?

And this doesn't only apply to our "spiritual side." Wouldn't the man of your dreams appreciate an organized house and a well-cooked meal?

It really boils down to this: become the kind of person you'd like to marry.

No, we won't be perfect--we'll fail. I can promise you that. But the season of singleness is so precious. We are given such a precious gift from God. We have time to prepare, time to develop our walk with the Lord, time to reach out to others... If you'd like somewhere to get started, Proverbs 31:10-31 has some great pointers. *smile

Verses 10-12 says:

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Will we do our husbands good all the days of our lives? Even before we know his name? Are we preparing for him, being faithful to him, and building a foundation of trust now?

That's where I was last year, before I met Josh.-to become the woman my Knight would be seeking for. And truly, if we are living fully for Jesus now, obeying Him, seeking His face, loving Him and allowing Him to change us, then we will become the person our spouse needs. As we focus on Christ and lose ourselves in Him, I believe everything else will fall into place.

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What is a Lady?

     To me a lady is not frilly, flouncy, frivolous and fluff-brained, but she is gentle, she is gracious, she is godly and she is giving. You and I have the gift of femininity… the more womanly we are, the more manly men will be and the more God’s glorified. Be women, be only women, be real women in obedience to God.”  ~Elisabeth Elliot
     In today’s society, a feminine woman is not exactly valued. However, a woman who is making her own way in the big wide world, climbing the corporate ladder, whisking through the social scene, knocking out glass ceilings- this is the woman that’s held in high esteem.
     While Proverbs 31 mentions a woman who is business woman (she considers a field and buys it….” The majority of Proverbs 31 is talking about what kind of a wife, mother and homemaker she is.
     Sometimes it seems like the Proverbs 31 woman is a dream.  I mean, really… who accomplishes everything that is written about in that chapter?
     The quote above from Elisabeth Elliot gives us a good insight into what we should be striving for as a godly woman. We are to be gentler. (That means we shouldn't yell at our children all day long.) You may think that’s quite a challenge, but it can be done! ;)
     A godly woman is gracious. That means she is courteous, kind, and pleasant. Again, some days make this feel impossible, but it can be done!
     A godly woman is giving. She extends herself to others, but she is always mindful of the needs of her family. Nowhere does it indicate that the Proverbs 31 woman extended herself to others at the expense of her family. She knew how to balance the needs of her family with the needs of others.
     While the Proverbs 31 woman may at times seem like an unattainable dream, I believe God placed those verses in his scriptures to call us to vision of godly womanhood for the benefit of others. If we continue faithfully in our efforts to live up to her beautiful example, we too will find out families rising up and calling us blessed. 
     "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates." ~Proverbs 31:20-31~

A Willing Worker

"She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands."  Proverbs 31:13

A virtuous woman is a woman who works willing with her hands.  

• She seeks how she can find things that will help her complete her task.  
• She would rather not wait for things to fall into her lap.  
• She is an "A" worker.  
• This woman is not lazy.
• She does not need everything done for her.
• This virtuous woman does not look for a life of leisure or entertainment.
• This willing worker is content to be busy serving her family in her home and helping fill needs beyond this if time allows.
• She never needs encouragement to stick with her work.

Women of Steel...
Women of early history HAD to work hard because times were difficult.  You see this in primitive cultures around the world today, who lead a life that is unchanged from hundreds of years ago.  I have heard stories of native women working willingly with their hands in the heat of the day and give birth in a bush and return to their work minutes later.  As the baby cuddles close within her sling wrapped around her shoulders, she is able to care for her new baby and continue on with her duties.

I can not even imagine how that would be.  Nor do I recommend it, but this letter to King Lemuel was written in a time such as this.  It is interesting to see the vast differences in the amount of work we do today verses the load of work that women of long ago and in primitive cultures still produce.  I think these women have built up a threshold of pain and endurance that can not be matched.  I see Amish women that work unceasingly.  They will take a break after having their babies, though, which I think is really great for them.  They hire a maid for 2 weeks that will take over all her duties on the farm and in the home-everything-so she can recuperate.  It seems to be the only vacation she gets all year.  I would take it, too!

Women Working Bees...
I have done working bees with a group of Amish women.  You blink and a chicken is ready to go into the freezer.  These women, without a thought, will walk over to grab a live chicken and the next thing you know, it is in a pretty package. What I have noticed, in our culture, is that women sometimes shy away from "dirty jobs" and strenuous tasks.  To get a group of ladies together to slaughter 100 chickens all before lunch is served, is out of the question.  Unless they were raised on a farm and know how its done.  It is not a nice job, it stinks, it is disgusting work.  I can assure you, it is not the life for everyone.  

I had to train myself to work alongside the Amish.  I remember times that I thought I would faint and die from standing there all day working until sweat drenched my entire dress.  I mean, they WORK.  And you do not just stand around waiting for them to tell you what to do, you just get in there and figure out what you can do to help.  It made a worker out of me.  I was a pampered city girl with all my pampered ways.  I had to lay that aside when I was seeking to learn how to do various homesteading type jobs.  Seeking out the teachers, the dirty work, and finding joy in the fellowship was something I will always carry with me throughout life.  

I am not saying these things to hail the homestead life nor am I trying to say the Amish are the only ones that work hard.  We all work hard in our own way with the time we have been given.  Whether you are a city girl or a country girl, it makes no difference as long as you have the right heart in your willingness to work with your hands and serve your family as unto the Lord.

Working Willingly...
Attending working bees regularly trained me to work willingly with my hands.  I seek to find more things to learn and accomplish.  If I have an opportunity to learn from a quilter I will come ready to thread my needle.  An older woman spoke to me this morning.  I tasted her pretzels and I asked her if I could find out how she made them.  I do not like to visit just to sit and talk.  I want to always be diligent because my time here is short and my days are numbered.  I want to do something that is meaningful and worth something.  Investing into purpose and into things of eternal value.  I want to work and learn.  She told me it would be such a joy to spend an afternoon teaching me.  I do not like to sit around and chat on the phone or watch Facebook feeds when there are things to be done.  I know there is laundry to fold, meals to prepare, more I can improve on, more to learn, children to care for, and people to pray for.  There is no end to the possibilities of things I could do or seek out.

You never know what your life could be if you never try-if you never seek things out and work willingly to its end.  Sometimes when you try, you make mistakes.  I see every mistake as an essential part of life.  It is those mistakes that teach us the most. 

On the Flipside-The Life of Leisure...
After many centuries and also the Dark Ages, there came a new concept to women.  Mainly for the women of wealth or power.  It was the concept of leisure.  Leisure is the use of FREE time to do things of enjoyment.   They had servants to do any hard labor, and they could afford the leisure of sitting in the parlor to read a good book, or play the piano, or paint a picture.  It was a disgrace to see a woman of high rank dirty the hem of her dress doing a job outdoors.  Some women in history actually hated the life of leisure because there was no balance at all.  If she had a certain social status, she was not allowed the luxury of cooking or cleaning or even rearing her own children.  They had nurse maids, servants, and nannies for this.  I would have hated it.

We now live in a society that has a bit more balance.  People do work but they also have time to relax.  We are not bush people that hunt for all our food.  We have luxuries and conveniences to aid in our work that streamlines things to where we have time to hop on the computers or devices to relax.  We can sit in the recliner and watch movies.  We can go out to eat for dinner if we don't have "time" to make a meal. Times have changed.  I do see a trend of young people playing video games and entertaining themselves for hours at a time.  Hours that may have been better spent rather in something productive.  It pains me to see the newer generations of girls without work.  Young ladies that stare at the phones smiling because they see what their friend posted.  It is a vortex, distracting and taking into its pull all their precious minutes/hours they have to make a difference in the world.   Instead, if they could learn from our example to SEEK out things to do.

Today, many women are feeling overworked and unappreciated.  The thankless job of the wife and mother is really daunting.  There is so much to be done, work that never seems to end- but it takes doing.   The children are observing us and what we do with our time.  It is easier to let them go off into the silent mode of a virtual escape, but it will not teach them how to be a diligent worker in the long run.  What is our overall attitude about the work?  Are we huffing and puffing and nagging and ragging?  Or are we willingly working with our hands in a joyful way? 

I consider working with my hands the will of God for my life-Being a Keeper of the Home.  I feel the best when I am doing a job, knowing it is a good thing.  Yes, we do have leisure as well.  There has to be a balance.  You have to enjoy working and playing together.  It is not bad to have times of rest in between our work, or days of respite.  God gives us all good things to enjoy.  Somehow God saw fit to give us a picture of a virtuous woman in Proverbs.  Proverbs is a book of good wisdom which contrasts foolishness and idleness with the upright ways of the diligent.  The icing on the cake, the final admonition, is to praise this woman who can do it all.

We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.  We need not beat ourselves down from all the years we may have failed.  I have failed much, but also I have learned much.  Finding a balance-not being a workaholic nor a lazy person.  Working and playing in the time we are given.  Enjoying the journey whether we are working willingly or whether we are taking time to smell the roses with our little ones.  The beautiful thing about God is that his mercies are new each morning.  We can get up each morning and choose whom we will serve.  Is it ourselves?  Is it our flesh?  Or will we rise up and seek out the things that need doing.  Let us find joy and contentment in what the Lord has for us today.  Lord, give us a measure of grace to face our mountains and climb them one step at a time, yet take the time to enjoy the view.  "Let us not grow weary in well doing for in due season we shall reap if we faint not."  ~Galatians 6:9

Homemaker in Training

The opportunities that we have as

homemakers-in-training are abounding everywhere we look.

Whether a daily task such as laundry folding, a

weekly culinary duty such as baking bread, a bi-weekly errand to the grocery

store or a seemingly "mundane" job, (like scrubbing the household toilets) we

have every opportunity imaginable to exercise and practice skills while we are

yet "in training".

But there is more to being a homemaker, than the

jobs which we can do. Young Ladies, (mothers/daughters/wives) it has to do with our hearts. And it is our choice. Will we perform our homemaker duties with joy and delight

in each task (which includes scrubbing the crummiest of toilets), or will we

choose to frown upon these daily opportunities? Will we choose a servants

heart or will we try to minimize the effect of being a

blessing?

We can make a whole house sparkle from top to

bottom but if our heart isn't full of love from Christ, then that perfect house

means nothing. We can make a delicious supper for our family, or run an errand

for Mom, but if our hearts are grumbling then our act that could have been a

blessing, means nothing.

We can garden, can, clean, sew, take care of

babies, run errands, meet every agricultural farm need, whip out loads of

laundry in lightning speed, and make a mean pot of soup BUT if our heart is not

thankful to the Lord for the blessing of being a homemaker in training, if we

are not grateful and full of joy at our Proverbs 31 calling, then what a waste

of the opportunity that the Lord gives us as women!

The choice is yours - do you find JOY in being a

homemaker?!!

Being Submissive Part 2 of 2

Last week I talked about being Submissive as Wives/Daughters/Sisters.
This week I wanted to focus more on the practical applications that we can put into practice in our daily lives/routines.

How to Submit... practical applications:

• *When your dad/husband/grandpa/Uncle tells you to do something, do it with humbleness, quietness, joyfulness, meekness, and a submit spirit.
• *Do it without complaining, Grumbling (Philippians 2:12-14, "So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach...")
• *Address them with wisdom and kindness. (Proverbs 31:26, "She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.") 
• *Show them love & Respect when talking to/about them.
  
  I hope this helps you put into aspect some of the things that we don't put into context that we should. Whatever your case may be, I know the men will be blessed in our lives when we submit to them and show them love, honor, and respect.
  1st Peter 2:13-20, "Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God. Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God."